“I see your point. It’s an interesting dilemma.”
Chloe rubbed her temples. “He’s not perfect. In fact, I’m very clear on his flaws. He can be stubborn and he does impulsive things that make me crazy. But he’s a good man, with a kind heart. He’s not perfect, but he’s exactly right for me.” She looked at the older woman sitting across from her. “I don’t know what to do.”
“That’s easy. Follow your heart.”
“But it’s not saying anything. I’m torn. On the one hand I want to stay in Bradley. On the other, I love Arizona. I don’t see how I can win. Even if I asked him to take me with him and he agreed, I’m afraid I wouldn’t be happy.”
“There’s another solution. Ask him to stay here.”
Chloe shook her head. “That’s not possible. You know him. He would hate being tied down to one place. All he knows is traveling. He’s not interested in putting down roots.”
“Maybe he’s tired of what he’s been doing and wants to try something else. What does it hurt to ask?”
“No,” Chloe said firmly, wishing it could be otherwise. “He’s not that kind of man. He doesn’t even believe in love.” She tried to make herself smile and had a feeling that it came out all wrong. “I would need him to love me and I don’t think he can. So there’s no point in asking him to stay. Letting him go is the right thing to do.”
Charity rose to her feet. “At the risk of destroying our newly found rapport, your logic is completely flawed. Frankly, I think you’re afraid. If you don’t ask, then he won’t say yes and you don’t have to put anything on the line.”
“That’s not true. How can you say that? By not asking, I’m guaranteeing myself that I’m going to get hurt. Do you think I want that?”
Charity stared at her. “It’s not that simple. If you don’t ask him to stay or even hint that you have strong feelings for him, then Arizona is probably going to leave. While you won’t be happy with that, at least you’ll be safe. You already know you’re going to feel pain when he’s gone.” She reached out and grasped Chloe’s hand. “You’re trying to maintain control. If you confess your feelings, then you don’t know what you two will decide. You don’t know how much you might hope and then be disappointed. Or worse, that he might agree and then you’re stuck with him. What then? You might have to actually deal with loving him. You’re afraid. It’s easier to let him go than to put yourself on the line and ask for what you want. The real terror isn’t that he would say no…it’s that he would say yes.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“SO THERE I was, up to my knees in mud in the pouring rain, staring directly at the white sapphire.” Arizona paused long enough to motion to the beautiful gem displayed in a lit glass case at the front of the lecture hall.
The video camera panned to follow his gesture. Instantly the picture on the screens on both sides of the huge, filled-to-capacity lecture hall changed from a silver screen-size view of Arizona’s handsome features, to a close-up of the gem.
“I knew if I could just reach a couple more inches, I would hold it in my hand.” He smiled. “Talk about living a fantasy.”
He paused for effect and gave Chloe a quick wink. She blushed and made sure the camera was still pointing at the gem. As she was in the front row and directly in Arizona’s line of vision, he could see her easily. She didn’t mind if the people around them noticed the wink, but she didn’t want it on the videotape or broadcast to the large crowd. Cassie nudged her, then gave her a knowing smile.
“I would guess he’s completely smitten,” her sister whispered.
Chloe’s only answer was a shake of her head, but she knew her blush gave her away. Whether or not Arizona was smitten, she was head over heels for the guy. She’d attended every one of his lectures over the past week. She could listen to him talk forever.
“I leaned forward,” he continued. “Then I felt it. The steady pressure of the anaconda going past me, then turning so it was between me and my prize.”
The audience gasped. Chloe found herself also caught up in his story. It had been like this each of the previous nights. Arizona wove fabulous stories from his life. They were made all the more enthralling because they were based on truth. But it was more than that. He had a way about him, about his speech patterns and word choices. While other lecture series could inform and even intrigue, his brought the audience right to the moment. He was a born storyteller in the great oral tradition. Had this been a hundred years ago, he would have plied his trade around campfires. Considering all the places he went to, he probably did.